I read this article on relationships (see below) and it got me thinking. Thinking about what makes-- and breaks--them. Thinking about what's acceptable and not.
Pondering what it is that makes some people feel so right, and others so wrong, when on paper, or statistically or practically, one is no better than the other, or even much,
much worse.
much worse.
There's attraction and chemistry, that's one thing. And it's a hard one. Because it's either there or not. I don't trust chemical reactions. They scare me . Too explosive. But without a smattering of chemistry.... Well, you know. It's like "let's just be friends."
I like relationships where I can feel a sense of comfort. I like a man who feels big and solid and lets me put my head on his shoulder and just rest for a minute. When I dream of my ideal relationship, I wish for both of us to allow each other to be "our soft place to land."
A warm, comfortable place where we can be looked at with eyes of love, eyes that take us all in, even our faults and weaknesses, and know that we can be better, do better. I'm not asking someone to accept unacceptable behavior from me, rather I hope for a man who inspires me to get better, not worse. I might be an incurable romantic, but I still believe that love heals.
What are the deal breakers?
Personal attacks on the loved ones character. Dishonesty. Addictions. Selfishness-not feeling that your partner's wants and needs are as important as your own. Inability to share your feelings. Or witness mine.
It might be a short list but it's brutal. Those are tough things to do. And here's what I really think:
Being honest with YOURSELF is the toughest goal of all.
We have a lifetime of experience in how to fool ourselves, fudge the truth, rationalize and justify. We are experts at convincing ourselves that "it's not that bad" or "it doesn't matter" or "it's not really like that." But truth is truth, and in the end all of that excuse making is gonna bite us in the butt.
Today I'm vowing to stand still and listen to my gut. And respect every tiny whisper that comes from it. Because truth is truth.
And the truth will set you free.
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